what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
