The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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