OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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