She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
