5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
