David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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