I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
