tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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