is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
