i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
