So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
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