I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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