three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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