Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
