lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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