Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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