Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
cat food counts as protein by the way
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
