I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
they're like a gay fantastic four
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize