Only a mothe r could love this liver
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize