Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
