Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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