did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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