My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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