Welp...herpes.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
