The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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