But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
