So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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