Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Randomize
