At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
