I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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