I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
