I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
