Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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