i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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