GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
