My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
