Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
