Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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