You really coming over, don't trick.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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