this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
