so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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