Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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