I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize