A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
