...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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