If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
