we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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