Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Plan B is the new Plan A
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
only you would photoshop your dick
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Randomize
