is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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