why didn't you poke me back
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
