Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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