My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
