i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
