I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
this hospital has no fireball
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
