My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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