do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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