no, he came in my armpit
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
