Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
