i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
