Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize