My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
